In a recent
post to what he may not have realized is a public message board, 3D Realms' assistant
to the VP of Naked Woman Blowing Up, Brandon Reinehart, made the following shrewd
I love how you guys [here he's using the royal "you guys" to represent a
hazy amalgam of everyone who's ever been mean to him -ed] make these ignorant statements that marginalize the development process
and the people in it.
Blame it on Romero I guess. Before Daikatana the game industry fan buzz was a positive
place with a lot of people who had passion about games. Now its just jaded pieces of shit
droning on about how much the industry sucks.
Aside from the part where he attempts to bolster his argument
for a return to positivity by badmouthing John Romero, I agree with him completely.
Though I've certainly written my share of industry fan buzz, I consider myself to be
primarily a game developer. That I've shipped more games this year
than Brandon is due to the fact that I was lucky enough to remain largely unmarginalized
and should not be seen as a reflection on his skill at assisting the Vice President of
Naked Woman Blowing Up. This reminds me of how another group of "jaded pieces
of shit" - high costs - marginalized profits for
land developers in China. Like Brandon, Liu Daotong, director of Shanghai
Real Estate Trading Centre, remembers a time in the early years when "both the
developers and buyers seemed to have no limits." Daotong is referring to return
on investment (ROI), but he could just as easily be talking about passion
for return on investment. I know that a lot of you reading this are not game
developers, and so you may not understand completely what I'm saying here. Let me
try to make it more personal by rephrasing it as a handwritten letter from Brandon
Reinehart that will be packaged with 3D Realms' flagship product for 2001 - an elaborate
presskit announcing the delay of Duke Nukem Forever to 2004:
In an attempt to foster some much needed positivity, we've decided to
bestow an award on our favorite positive quotes from the game press in 2000. In an
attempt to appease the statistically insignificant, non-developer, jaded pieces of shit
portion of our readership, we've titled the award "Reviewer's Tilt",
"tilt" being employed in its purest American McGee sense to indicate that the
reviewer is completely fucking insane.
Psychedelic experiences may have fueled the
original, trippy Alice in Wonderland stories. But events far more potent than
any narcotic are behind superstar computer game designer American McGee's macabre,
unnerving riff on Lewis Carroll's classic.
-Noah Shachtman, Wired Magazine
life is to don a mask each and every day. Our true selves are seldom exposed to the world
at large; to show everything to the people we must share our existences with would be to
risk the ultimate rejection. We are what we think others want to see, and we live our
lives doing this each and every day until it's impossible to tell where the mask ends and
we begin. A mere decoration becomes a metaphor for humanity's hard time on planet Earth.
We are the masks we wear.
-Greg Orlando, Daily Radar review of Majora's Mask
for the N64
We'd like to congratulate Greg Orlando for defeating this category so
forcefully that it broke. If it returns next year, it will be renamed "The Greg
Orlando Award" because his Majora's Mask review is going to win it again.
|*This award is
neither sponsored by, endorsed by, nor, hopefully, seen by Pizza Hut or the people at
Pizza Hut. The edgy font was supplied by Marvin and not Pizza Hut, and should not be
considered representative of the actual edginess of your Pizza Hut the Edge pizza pie.