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Deus Ex Walkthru
2000-06-20 Erik Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4

Part 5:  Janice Reed, Bitch

Leave the office and slam the door on your way out.   If you've invested in enhanced arm strength, activate it before slamming the door.   Storm two doors down and enter the office of the UNATCO director, Joseph Manderley.  

The first thing you'll notice is that you're not actually in Manderley's office, but in a secretarial annex!   Try not to think about where your secretarial annex is, because you don't have one.   Due to a bug, Manderley's assistant, Janice Reed, won't notice how angry you are and will try to engage you in small talk.  Go ahead and ask her if they're so excited to have you, why did they give you such an embarrassing fucking office?  If you think being clever undercuts your rage, you may want to ignore her statement altogether and simply say "my office is a fucking disgrace."  Start softly, pause between each word, and raise your voice until, by "disgrace", you're screaming.   Alternately, if you have enhanced arm strength and managed to rip your office door off of its hinges, you can just throw it at her as you storm by her desk.  No matter how you choose to deal with Ms. Reed, charge into Manderley's inner chamber.

Part 6:  Expressing Your Displeasure

Manderley didn't get to be head of UNATCO by not being a cool customer.   He'll act as if he was expecting you and launch into some detailed espionage instructions:

Let him babble about work for a minute, all the while turning your head to view the different parts of Manderley's incredible office.  Interrupt him and distractedly say "Right, Paul's team."  Trail off for a beat, look over his right shoulder and say "You have your own bathroom?"  Now make a 180 degree turn.  Make sure you do it slowly - or, alternately, sit in the swivel chair that's in front of Manderley's desk then swivel it 180 degrees - because you're in for a shock:

Manderley has a leather couch in his office. 

Let him know that you know that he has a couch in his office by stating the fact out loud, but phrase it in the form of a question to yourself, as if you can no longer believe your senses.  Press F12 to activate your nano-light and shine it at the couch.   Deactivate the light.  Stay standing, but go slack for a few moments - drop your head and hang your shoulders.

That done, turn to your left and examine the the alcove that's at the horizontal halfway point in the wall.  What is that thing?  Who cares?  What matters is this:  You don't have one.  Turn to face Manderley.  Cock either extended thumb over your shoulder, jut your head forward, drop your jaw, then, adopting a tone of frank disbelief, ask him "They gave you one of those?"

At this point, it should be clear to you that complaining to Manderley about your shitty office will - at best - only result in getting moved to some other workspace that's still not nearly as good as his.  Now that you've witnessed how the fat cats work with your own bionic eyes, you should brook no substitute. 

Inform Manderley that you're taking over his office, but use strategy.  Say "Nice office, now get yourself one."  Notice how he doesn't react?  That's okay, he's not supposed to.  By giving him an opportunity to simply walk away, you've done everything any reasonable person could possibly expect of you.  Whatever happens from this point forward will be Manderley's own goddamn fault.  Using the diagram printed to the right as a guide, shoot at Manderley's head until you're out of bullets.  Now open your eyes as wide as they'll go and dry-fire the pistol a few times. 



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