Search for:

MTV Sports: Skateboarding Featuring Andy Macdonald
2000-10-16 Staff
I haven't played this and why should I? Sure Andie MacDowell was good in Groundhog day and being in a movie named Sad Fuckers Club does give her street cred - but that doesnt mean I want to see her in my skateboarding games!

Shogun: Total War
2000-08-11 Staff
Where is the tentacle rape? How can you have a Japanese themed game without tentacle rape? What next a KISS game with no KISS?

Sergei Bubka's Millennium Games
2000-08-11 Staff
This game has nothing to do with bukakke. Bubka is just some fruity European pole vaulter's name. I don't think he has much name recognition in the USA.

Ivo's Daikatana
2000-07-06 Staff
Ion and their henchmen are trying to blame Daikatana's bad reviews on people's attitude towards John Romero. I place the blame on a crappy game. Think I can't separate Romero from the game? If it was found that Hitler had designed a FPS in his final days in the bunker, I would give it a try and hope that it was good. I am not so masochistic that I would spend $30 on a game just to hope it sucks.

The demo link will bring you to the one good thing to come from Daikatana.

Motocross Madness 2
2000-07-06 Staff
Fun. Fun. Fun. Jumping moving trains - pushing opponents into oncoming cars - the most straight ahead fun any game has delivered this year.

AVP Extreme Volleyball
2000-07-06 Staff
Alien VS Predator Volleyball! Choose the alien for easy spiking.

EverQuest:Ruins of Kunark
2000-07-06 Staff
Now that Verant has stopped Britishing is the any reason to invest 6 hours a day and $9.99 a month into these games?

Beetle Buggin Racing
2000-07-06 Staff
The initial excitement at our offices for this game quickly faded when we realized it was not based on Beetle Baily. While we don't actually find Beetle Baily funny, we can at least tell what the joke is supposed to be. Anything is better than a comic that tries to teach us history through the eyes of a cranky bus driver...

Thief 2: The Metal Age
2000-04-05 Staff
I know I am going to get shit for this... but this game sucks. Oh sure, It's the thinking man's FPS. Well I am a man and was thinking, thinking about why I had to find so many damn keys while staring at this crappy 3d engine's graphics. Yes, there is stealth...oooh you have to be quiet while you look for the keys. These aren't Doom Red, Blue, Gold keys. No, these are tiny and easy to miss. Avoid this game unless your idea of fun is running around a blocky world - with your head down - running up to every graphical glitch thinking you just found "The" key.

Here is a quote from some excited Thief II players on the newsgroups:
In the "meat" locker, you can jump up on a platform to climb up on the roof through an open vent. When you're on that platform, you can see one live spider. The key is near .

Crates+spider+key=kill me now. If I would ever hear that quote from my own son, I would shove him out a window faster than Clapton did when he heard his son say he liked Boyz II Men.

Soldier of Fortune
2000-04-01 Staff
Does excessive violence bore you? Not really? Don't worry you aren't alone. Click on the Long Review for our travel guide/review.

Blaze & Blade
2000-03-16 Staff
Why even bother putting it in a box? Why not just sell it in a paper bag?

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
2000-02-18 Staff
We discovered that the feeling you get from not receiving a million dollars because you lost the game is exactly the same as the feeling you get from not receiving a million dollars when you win the game.

Omikron: The Nomad Soul
2000-02-02 Staff
When a game publisher needs to keep mentioning that David Bowie does a virtual concert in their game and ignores mentioning any gameplay issues, you know the game is in trouble. Nothing screams unsold CD's louder than a long haired David Bowie in the late 90's. Anyone remember the albums Earthling or Outside?

2000-02-02 Staff
Where is Hitler when you need him? Check out the long review.

Battlezone 2
2000-01-31 Staff
The answer to a trivia question no one is asking.

Rayman 2
2000-01-31 Staff
One of the few games on the PC that can rival a console in "console action".

Ultima 9: Ascension
2000-01-31 Staff
What do you do when you kill off a series with a bug filled mess? You release a special enhanced CD that includes a special video of the making of Ascension. See project members laugh in glee when they add yet another show stopping bug! Hear Lord British exclaim, "Fuck them, it's not like they are going to pay me $10 a month to play this... fuck them and their bug problems."

Wild Wild West
2000-01-21 Staff
Crap like this (the movie, the game is so bad I don't even want to have to talk about it) has made Will Smith the one man Village People of black pop rap.

Slave Zero
2000-01-20 Staff
What could be cooler than being a giant mech wandering a city laying waste to everything you see? Being a giant mech in a normal sized city would be cooler. Taking a page from Monolith's "How to make a mech level out of a regular corridor level" book, the super sized cities in Slave Zero take away any fun of being big. Ho hum, a corridor FPS on rails.

2000-01-20 Staff
The code name for Monolith's new Multi-player network code.

<-Previous Page       Next Page->

Hosting Provided by POEHosting.com
Copyright 1997-2003 Oldmanmurray.com