|I've given Redwood a lot of crap over the years.
I don't know why. A long time ago, when I was in creative writing camp for
fat kids, the instructors always told us to "write what you know". So
maybe that's why: I know Redwood's a dope. Or do I?!?
he published an interview
with American McGee in which they discuss American McGee's "American McGee's
Alice". Redwood starts with an easy question whose answer is seemingly
obvious, "How did you first come up with the idea behind Alice?"
McGee begins to ramble and in the process manages to mention Doom, Doom 2, Quake,
the freeway, American McGee, the band Crystal Method, his other big idea "a game where you fought bugs from the future", and Quake 2.
After a few hundred words, he stops. You can't tell from the way the
interview is written, but I imagine there was a thirty or forty second pause while Redwood
waited for him to catch his breath and say something about Lewis Carroll. At the
point where it must have become uncomfortably clear that McGee was done answering, Redwood
says for him:
Obviously the original Lewis Carroll stories (Alice's Adventures
in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass) were your basic source for Alice...
Which reminds McGee to thank Tim Burton and Edward Gorey. I
gotta give Redwood credit, that was a classy way to inject an editorial jab into the
I just went back to check something in the interview, and I
noticed that it wasn't written by Redwood, but by someone called JCal. I'm not going
to to rewrite this whole thing at this point, so congratulations to Redwood.
|Here's a dramatized version of a true story of
life in the the offices of Rogue Entertainment. It stars Fermat's Last Theorem as
American Mcgee. Playing the part of someone else who works at Rogue is an Israeli
lottery ticket that proves that Jews are in league with Satan.
"Have you seen my pen?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
<rubs head as if it hurts> "Has American McGee seen American McGee's my
"He has not!"
In other interview news, the normally reclusive Dr. Derek Smart, PhD has taken time out
from working on fifteen different games all about operating a spreadsheet in space to
announce that he has licensed Croteam's Serious
Engine. What's he going to use it for? Beats him. It appears to have
been an impulse buy. However, that hasn't stopped him from going on an interview
rampage. In the last four days, no less than ten interviews have appeared with the
man so dangerously smart the Government made him put the word right in his name. In
each interview, he's asked to provide some details about the mystery game, codenamed
Project ABC. Here's a typical answer taken from an interview on game-interviews.com:
Question: how long have you
been thinking about this game and how long has Project ABC been in development?
Smart: I have been thinking
about Project ABC, all of this past weekend.
All weekend? Intriguing. Don't get me wrong, though.
I give Derek some crap, but as a gamer I want nothing more than for Dr. Smart, PhD
to come through and release a great game for me to play, because,
ultimately, that's what it's all about.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh man... I'm kidding of course. I just love it when
people say things like that. I want to see a train wreck so powerful that the moon
gets blown up. And in case any of you developers are wondering whether to take
Smart's side in all this, here's a quote from the same game-interviews.com piece:
I'm used to developing and coding high-end migraine inducing
modules for my games, therefore, going to a streamlined and less hardcore game, just gives
my brain some breathing room...
After the Battlecruiser series, believe me, anything else not
even closely related to its complexity, will be like programming tic-tac-toe to me [and my enormous brain]
In other words, the regular games that all of you average developers have worked so
hard to patch to the point where they almost do the things it says they should do on the
box are mere child's play to Dr. Smart. In more other words, you're idiots.
Once Smart's brain - which has apparently evolved its own set of lungs and perhaps even
its own tiny brain - gets "some breathing room",
you can all use your primitive computer skills to design in Notepad then laser print signs
that say "out of business".